By Brenda Dyck. January is the month where most people (including myself) tend to reflect on the past year’s experiences and give themselves a reality check in order to help promote a sense of well being and acceptance for the stuff that has happened in their lives. As a Guerrilla Gardener I’ve come to accept that:
-No plant ever looks like it does on the plant tag, seed packet or in the catalog – sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised, but sometimes it’s off to the compost heap!
-To make compost you simply stop throwing organic kitchen waste away and pile it up somewhere – this also goes for any misbehaving/ugly plants. Some call it a compost heap but I prefer to think of it as the place where plants are sentenced to die. As a Guerilla Gardener I take no prisoners!
-The only way to truly accomplish a no maintenance garden is to just plant weeds. To keep this in perspective you have to realize that all flowers are weeds, they are just weeds from another country.
-If your goal is to have a garden that has color all year round, then you might just have to place a pink flamingo or a colorful garden gnome in your garden in order to accomplish this.
-If you want it to rain, just thoroughly water your garden, wash your car or plan a wedding or a vacation for the time frame that you would like it to rain.
-It’s a fact, the scum of the earth actually comes in many different colors so just deal with it. Instead of trying to change your soil (clay, sandy loam, etc) use Google to search for plants that will thrive in the type of soil you have and the location of where you want to plant them. A little investigating on the internet can save a lot of time and back breaking work, and this is especially important if you are planting stuff on property that does not belong to you. If you are a Guerilla Gardener you might also be looking for plants that are low maintenance, so try adding it to the Google search critera as well. For example as a Guerilla Gardener on an Adventure living in Chilliwack I might type in the Google search bar “low maintenance plants that do well in clay soil in the Pacific Northwest”
-I have observed that any vegetable planted in my garden will be at it’s peak when it can be found plentiful and cheap in the grocery store. Here in Chilliwack, even non-spray and organic seasonal vegetables are extremely affordable and available at local greenhouses, road side stands and farmer”s markets everywhere. However, I always manage to convince my self that my homegrown vegetables taste better. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
-It seems that the weeds always somehow manage to multiply in direct proportion to my effort to eliminate them. I swear they prolifically pop up out of nowhere, overnight, just to spite me!
-Rumor has it that if it weren’t for rainy days, no gardener would ever get their housework done. Well if that is true, then I’m thinking that those gardener’s obviously don’t have internet access and aFacebook account or they haven’t discovered Pinterest yet. And that’s all I have to say about that!
The final conclusion to the past year’s reflections, observations and garden thoughts bring to mind a quote from David Hobson, (AKA The Mad Gardener)
“Yup, gardening and laughing are two of the best things in life you can do to promote good health and a sense of well being.”
And as a Guerilla Gardener on an Adventure, I couldn’t agree more.
Here’s to gardening and laughing with my Guerilla Garden accomplices in 2015.
Brenda Dyck
A Guerilla Gardener on an Adventure!
Brenda Dyck is a Fraser Valley writer AKA a Guerrilla Gardener
Guerilla Garden Adventures
Using unconventional gardening ideas,
to get maximum results from minimal resources.
You can reach Brenda by clicking here.
Articles on the Guerilla Garden Adventures should never be construed as professional advice. Any resemblance to Master Gardeners, living or dead is purely coincidental.
I do not in any way condone or recommend following any of the advice or ideas contained on or linked in any article. These articles are based on my own Guerilla Garden Adventures (or that of some anonymous close friends), and have been considered by some people to be dangerous, immoral and/or down right illegal.
The only purpose of these articles is to share my Guerilla Garden Adventures, stories, disasters and triumphs with a warped sense of garden humor. Neither myself nor anyone I know will assume liability for any issues or legal proceedings arising (either real or imagined) from anyone who decides to embark upon their own Guerilla Gardener Adventure!