The Guerilla Gardener: Winter View On Gardening

By February 10, 2014The Guerilla Gardener

By Brenda Dyck.

The winter months are those during which most people (including myself) tend to reflect on the past year’s experiences and give themselves a reality check in order to promote a sense of well being for themselves. As a Guerrilla Gardener I’ve come to the realization that:

No plant ever looks like it does on the plant tag, seed packet or in the catalog – sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised, but sometimes it’s off to the compost heap!

To make compost you simply stop throwing organic kitchen waste away and pile it up somewhere – this also goes for any misbehaving/ugly plants. As a Guerilla Gardener I take no prisoners!

The only way to truly accomplish a no maintenance garden is to just plant weeds.

If you really want some color all year round, place a pink flamingo or a colorful garden gnome in your garden.

If you want it to rain, just thoroughly water your garden or wash your car.

The scum of the earth actually comes in many different colors.

The tomato plants in my garden will be at their peak when tomato prices in the grocery store are at their lowest.

Weeds always multiply in direct proportion to my effort to eliminate them.

If it weren’t for rainy days, no Guerilla Gardener would ever get their housework done.

The final conclusion to this year’s reflections, to quote suspected Guerrilla Gardener David Hobson, (AKA The Mad Gardener)

“Yup, gardening and laughing are two of the best things in life you can do to promote good health and a sense of well being.”
And I couldn’t agree more.

Brenda Dyck is a Fraser Valley writer AKA a Guerrilla Gardener
Guerilla Garden Adventures
Using unconventional gardening ideas,
to get maximum results from minimal resources.
Look for more columns from Brenda this year.

Articles on the Guerilla Garden Adventures should never be construed as professional advice. Any resemblance to Master Gardeners, living or dead is purely coincidental.
I do not in any way condone or recommend following any of the advice or ideas contained on or linked in any article. These articles are based on my own Guerilla Garden Adventures (or that of some anonymous close friends), and have been considered by some people to be dangerous, immoral and/or down right illegal.
The only purpose of these articles is to share my Guerilla Garden Adventures, stories, disasters and triumphs with a warped sense of garden humor. Neither myself nor anyone I know will assume liability for any issues or legal proceedings arising (either real or imagined) from anyone who decides to embark upon their own Guerilla Gardener Adventure!